working hard to improve the quality of life…

it’s been some time since i post things here…. i’ve been busy working all this while… from joining a new company… getting jealous treatments because i’m a freshie….. to able to improve the relationship… to getting confirmed…. getting my first increment…. everything is not smooth… it has it’s challenges here n there… but i think i’m doing ok… so far, i’m still all right with wat i’m doing…

it’s true that the i’m not earning as much as another people…. but i’m thinking long term…. it’s ok if the pay is not so high… but i’m learning… i’m trying to learn as much as i can right now… i’m sure it will pay off someday in the future.. for now, material wise for me is still manageable…. i’m slowly improving my life right now… saving up money for studies, travel, n other necessities… for me, it’s how you plan n lead ur life tht is important rather how u let ur life to lead the way…

for some, this might b a headache… as they would like to live for the day n let future takes it’s own course… i do not deny tht watever we plan does not necessarily happens in the future… but at least, we do know wat we wanna do… wat we like n dislike…. when do we wan to take our break, when is the time to work hard… like wat other ppl say, work n play hard makes a balanced life…

i’m glad tht i’m slowly but steadily improving my life right now… it feels good realising tht everything is alright..

MUSIC-MAN concert (Leehom M’sia Concert 2009) - a review

Yesterday was the concert day for 1 of the most talented music talents in the Chinese music scene. Who else but not our Wang Lee Hom. I got to Bukit Jalil around 8 and the entrance was having some traffic problems towards the car park. Adding up, we only got to park the car quite far from the stadium.

Once we got to the stadium, i was quite surprised with the seating arrangements. Our seating was on the field where if someone stand up, our view will be all gone. Not to mention that we are very far apart from the stage. I would still prefer the seating arrangements as per the last Leehom concert. We are seated on the stadium seatings and the stage is almost at the middle of the field. Very near and comfortable seating. I wouldnt be worrying that i couldnt see anything if someone stood up at the last concert but i am for this one. The weather was very very warm yesterday nite. I was sweating even when i wear shorts and also sleeveless shirt.

Then the concert begins with the opening up by Daniel Lee (our 2nd Malaysian Idol) who juz presented 1 song and another artist (sorry ppl, i’m not a fan of hers, so i couldnt really catch her name).. She brought around 3 songs with her before leehom came on stage. After the artist left, the stage was all dark. The audience was calling for leehom. then we saw a guitar on stage was anticipating for leehom to come out. Then the guitar went up and after come time, leehom came down with the guitar. With the voice of Music-man, the made-up voice using audio tech. He speak for a while before starting his concert with  搖滾怎麼了!! . Then he continuous sings for the rest of the nite. Basically, wat i actually realised was tht his songs arrangement was all rearranged to be a lil bit fast.

He introduced us to 1 of his new guitar. The guitar was personnally made for him, in the shape of a dragon. If i got him correctly, the guitar was juz completed in time for this concert. Speaking of guitar, the instruments that he played in this concert was a lil bit less. He juz played electric guitar, piano n violin (only 2 songs with violin). As compared to last time, he din touch any er hu or keyboard. Even his chinese traditional oriented songs were rearranged to be in fast tempo.

I know i shouldnt be comparing him to the last concert. But the upside was, he is making more interaction this time around. He speaks to the audience and even when down the stage to shake hands with the audience. He also shows off his dancing skills. And some magic. This part would be the part that i love the most. At 1 particular moment, he was talking on the stage and zipppped reappeared at the empty section juz nxt to us. At this moment i got crazy and went screaming…. Hahahaha…. he is so so so so near. He looked and sing at us a while before going back to the stage. Wow!!! i guess if tht part was missing, i’ll sure be still complaining bout sitting so far apart from the stage. After tht moment, every1 starts to stand and was dancing as he sang (at least at where i’m seated) until the end of the concert. Tht was THE moment for the concert.

Most his visuals yesterday was animation. He started off the concert in a comic-book-like kinda way. Coz his theme was MUSIC-MAN,  a man comparable to spidey, superman, batman and etc etc but his is in Music terms.

Overall, i would give him a 8/10 for his effort, animations, audio tech, and songs. At least he made me loosen up n sang my heart out with him after 1 day of working. But it ends a lil bit too early with only 1 encore part. Every1 would be happier if we get more from him.

I guess tht ends the review for his concert. I would still be looking forward to his future concerts. LEEHOM THE MUSIC-MAN!!!!

up n down a hill of emotions…

I’ve juz stepped into another year older…. but then, i dunno y this year my feelings seem to take over me… probably being in a new phase of life (which is working) and also being in a new surrounding took over me…. this birthday kinda feels lonely… although i hv friends wishing me… but then the loneliness feeling really overcame all the happy emotions tht i shud hv….

on the eve of the birthday, i kept on checking messages for birthday wishes…. part of it because i’m expecting some messages from some certain people… so i kinda waited till the day comes b4 i really sleep tht nite… but then 12am came n still no messages… then came a few sms-es from friends, i replied them but then at the same time, tears keep on falling…. along the way i fell asleep….

the nxt morning (which is tht day itself), i woke up with no sms-es on my hp…. “ok…” i said n then get ready for work…. at work, i tried to b natural n work as usual… keep on getting myself busy…. my colleagues shared n bought me a gift… then we had lunch together (which is usual)… no phone calls to ask me out for lunch… no calls for any plans for the nite… ntg… another ok i said… perhaps every1 was really really busy… then after work, i took the lrt home myself… usually i go back with a colleague…. but then tht day she’s going out shopping with another colleague… they brush me off on the way… telling me to go home 1st… kinda of feeling tht they dowan me to follow… so i went home… on the way home… while walking, again emotions overcame me…. tears falling down again…. 

upon reaching home, upon being in my room, my tears became hard to control… perhaps it’s because i’m sad (bcause no plans… no celebration), dissapointed, n being alone at home sure make u think a lot… especially on occasions like this…  so i juz let the tears to fall n let it b.. after some time after it stopped, i bath n watched tv… in another very silent manner…. until my housemate came back from movies…. chat with her a while n went to sleep….

then the nxt day, which is valentines…. major headache n fever throughout the day… could not do anything properly… may b the headache is the after effects of the emotions i felt the day earlier…. 2 frens asks for dinner tht day but i declined them because i had appointment with another person… but then, tht person is not yet available… indeed another frustration to add on to the headache… being starved the whole day…. gastric came by n add to the sickness n emotions tht i’m feeling… but i could not bring myself to eat… so i sleep… after 1 hour, woke up n bath n the fren is finally available… went out to eat (which is my 1st proper meal tht day… tht day i even missed out on breakfast)…

after a while i got home n again could not do anything…. feeling feverish n headache again… so i retire myself to the bed n sleep…. forcing myself to sweat along the way so tht the fever will b away…

this morning i woke up… feeling better…. headache gone… fever gone…. not feeling so much of negative emotions anymore…. but then it’s the stomach turn this time… feels like tht there is too much wind… perhaps the wind got in because i din take any meals the day b4… i made chicken soup n put a lot of pepper in it… as well as onion hoping to get rid of the wind.. now still hv a lil bit of uneasiness with the stomach but hopefully everything will get better….

no matter how i feel, i gotta overcome the emotions… but i think as time pass by, i will get better…. for eg… today i’m no longer thinking bout the emotions but rather bout my stomach… so i shud b better adi…. anyway, after pouring all these out over here, i’m feeling better again… i will not think about wat happened the last 2 days…. as life muz go on….

aza aza!!!

off gone 2008 n 2009 is here… a recap

2008 is gone.. now we r in 2009…. let’s recap wat happened to me in 2008

2008 marks the year when i finally graduated from my 3 year psychology course… am i satisfied so far with the study? well…. i’m ok with it… no regret… it also marks the year where i started off with a job tht i do not see myself in the future…. back to jobless n found a job tht i liked… so far so good…

2008 also marks the year of where i went travelling to pulau tioman, kuantan, klang, around kl…. adventures are fun…. needless for me to say more…. u can juz read more about it in previous blogs that i’ve uploaded…

now, moving forward in 2009…. let’s talk bout wat i want to achieve in this year….

job wise - i wanted to work longer in the hr field… i’m interested in the things i got to do so far…. hopefully i’ll breeze thru my probation n stay on longer

travelling - this year i might not be able to travel much… due to the lack of leaves i have for this year…. but so far, planning to hv a oversea trip soon (perhaps 1 year later)… so to achieve tht, i got to save up more….

loans - target to repay at least 1/5 of my loans… to achieve my 5 year goal…. let’s move towards it…

car - may b will get a car by this year… it’s hard to travel to faraway places without a car… i’ll start off with a 2nd hand one 1st… so tht i need to pay lesser for the loans… main priority is study loans at this moment.

others - others would include…. hmmm…. a relationship perhaps….? not to rush n not to hinder… if got good lo… if dun also cannot force… sun kei ji yin la… hahaha… n to save up money for continuing my studies… (this is in my 5 year plan too).. hahaha

well, tht is all…. ganbatte…. let’s all move forward in the year 2009… all the best to every1…

The bell-curve of a relationship

I guess in every relationship the graph would look like a bell curve…. with the x-axis representing the duration u know each other…. n the y-axis representing the closeness u hv…

During introductory period, where u 1st know a person, u r building the closeness between each other… therefore, ur line is actually going up… whether it is steep or not actually depends both ur personality…

after a period of time, it shud b able to reach the peak period where u n the other person r very close to each other… u include each other in ur activities.. continuous contacts…  n u r constantly seeing each other

then… after a period of time, the closeness starts to decrease… there might b reasons tht u r busy… the other person is busy… both are building another bell-curve somewhere…

in my opinion, i think this bell-curve relationship is a general way to look at a relationship… some might end with just 1 peak, some perhaps in our life-time, with the same person, we have different bell curves….  each going up n down, up n down…. i guess it is hard to maintain it at 1 peak point as things change as every second passes… the world is constantly changing…. i recently saw a drama n i figure the phrase tht is used in the drama is correct…. the constant in a life is changes…. we r constantly experiencing changes every second… we r getting old each n every second… our hair grows every second…. we hv dead brain cells every second… so, it is correct in a way…. so may b tht is y… there r so many peaks in the relationship graph…

balance relationship? possible or not??

can idealistic thinking kill people??? i have so much of my idealistic thinking tht i’m holding on to…. like how a relationship should be…. how a break up should be… how to treat people… but is tht all imagery…?? will the realistic come out from it?

a relationship tht is all me n not u is very very tiring… when u seem to devote all ur time  n energy to someone…. they do not care enuf to bother… n i not only mean the boy girl relationship only… i mean in each n every case of relationship tht might be…. family relationships…. frens relationship… u seem to b there for the person when they need u or even there when they dun need u at all… but when u need them, all sorts of excuses is up there for u to choose… but when the time u cannot provide for them, they start to show u all the attitude tht they r irritated with u… well… who shud b the 1 who gets irritated?? this is not a healthy n balance relationship n it is always very very tiring on the party tht always do the repairing to the relationship…. the other person nvr ever seem to appreciate u… but u still need to tend to all their needs… what kind of life is this…. often tht u tell tht u need to break off from this kind of ppl but it is always sooooo hard… in the end u get tired staying afloat in the relationship n tired breaking off from the relationship…

izzit often tht in a relationship tht a person is the one doing n providing all the needs?? is there never ever any balance in the relationship?? can a person ever get away from the exhaustation??

Places tht i hv been… :)

Allow me to list down the place tht i hv been… hehehehe…

Places:

1. KL (of coz la… coz i stay here)

2. Ipoh

3. Penang

Beaches/ Seaside

1. Port Dickson

2. Bagan Lalang

3. Teluk Chempedak

4. 2nd Bay

5. Pantai Batu Hitam

6. Tanjung Harapan / North Port

7. Tanjung Sepat

Islands

1. Pulau Pangkor

2. Pulau Tioman

Hill Resorts

1. Genting Highlands

2. Cameron Highlands

3. Bukit Tinggi (this is just a short visit tho)

Waterfalls

1. Air Terjun Sg Gabai

2. Lata Kinjang

Caves 

1. Batu Caves

2. Gua Tempurung

3. Cave temples in Ipoh

This is all tht i can think of rite now… perhaps later i will add on or i will add to the list when i visit other place…

new adventure: kuantan

i am not sure whether i did the correct thing by choosing to resign at this moment. but if i do not resign, i am not sure how long i can stay at the company. now i’m doubting my actions but then it is too late to regret… better make this time into good use.

last weekend, i went over to Kuantan to visit a fren… i went with another fren.. we took the bus at 2.30…. supposingly to arrive at 6… but then we reached kuantan near to 8.00pm… due to the jam in gombak… n the bus was moving super slow as well…. not to forget, the toilet break comes so late… since arriving so late… wat also cannot do adi lo… go eat dinner with my fren’s mum n bro also… then go over to 1 of her house for the nite… after bath… sit n watch tv before sleeping..

when we finally off to bed…. my frens were chatting… n i keep sleeping on n off… cannot seem to really sleep tht nite… so i kind of listen to wat they say… some of it also la… hahaha…. dunno wat to do also… hahaha…. then when they finally sleep at 4… i’m still twisting.. so sanfu r cannot sleep…

then the nxt morning, i woke up earlier than others also… 6.45am… the sky is already clear tht early in kuantan… then we went out for breakfast… ate smtg tht i dun think is available in KL… kon lou har min…. n my fren eat chau har min (basah)… ok la… the taste not bad la… hahaha… well, for me at least can makan can adi….

then we went to Teluk Chempedak… 1 of the beaches there in Kuantan.. but then we din stop n play there… instead we went to 2nd bay… which is within walking distance from Teluk Chempedak (TC as the ppl there call it).. there not as many ppl in TC… then we spend the time taking photos… watching crabs n other sea creatures tht uses shells, collecting shells and also playing water… as a comparison, the sea water there is not as salty as tioman… hahaha…

then after bathing n changing… we went to another beach… batu hitam… where as the name tells you… the rocks are all black… at this beach, we can see fishes and also crabs… and also other sea creatures tht lives on rocks… (i am not sure what they are called also)… sorry guys… couldnt tell u the name…. hahaha….

then we went back to the house n rest for a while… n after tht it is going home time… we took bus from kuantan at 3.30 and arrived at kl around 7.30… i din really sleep in the bus also… especially after karak… dunno y… but once reached home, the weariness strikes… i fall asleep around 9 plus… but waking up on n off as i’m downloading things on the laptop…

tht is my adventure for kuantan… tho it is a short one… but i did hv fun… travelling n escaping away from the busy KL is a good way to rejuvenate… so if u guys hv any travel plans… tell me ya…

my adventures..

ever since in secondary school, i love to travel around… i love going places with friends, classmates, and also coursemates… i think i went to quite a few places with all the groups of ppl… be it for fun or for school work….
 

juz now, i went over to puduraya to get something… then the vacations or adventures as i mentioned in the title of this blog began to pop-up… i began to recall all the adventures tht i had over the years… starting with a small trip in primary sch, when a school mate accidentally fall in to the pond of the park we r visiting… then in f3 trip to PD, where we start to suspect a person of having bad intention… resulting in all girls sleeping in the living room with rods, ballons and all sorts of things that can be used to hit ppl….

then f5, where the whole class went to sunway and played from the opening hours till closing hour n still not willing to go home at that point… getting tricked into sitting tomahawk n not realising it can turn 360degress with ur legs above you… shouting n screaming our heads off… hahahahaha…. those were the days when u r naive and innocent….
 

then in f6, whole class skip classes for the day n went to FRIM…. not notifying teacher.. making the nxt class ppl n also teachers to be soooo surprised…. hahahaha.. (i still dare to say this out loud)…hahahaha…. aside from planning to skip on purpose, we also planned our food there…. we organized pot-luck where we all bring some food to share among all…. getting pacat attacks… tho it is juz 3 of the whole lot who kena…. :).. then having trip to cameron to catch bugs… pretending to follow ah-mo’s way of travelling which is hiking - to the BOH farm… while they at tht time, took taxi up… nearly got lost on our way… then going to Bukit Tinggi to catch bugs again…. we din manage to go in tho… juz catch the bugs at the parking lot… tho only the parking lot section… but we still manage to catch quite a lot….

then after entering uni…. the 1st trip is to Penang… where we stayed at friends place….. going around the places in a few cars…. eating… bbq at the beach… taking the cable car up Penang Hill and saying hi to the kids on the cable car going the opposite way of us… hahaha….

After tht going Pangkor… playing UNO up to 4am in the morning…. having all sorts of diff reactions for the Heart Attack game… then the volleyball got buried n no ppl help me to dig it…. they can juz watch n laugh…. even the sea water also dun help me… keep pushing in the sands tht i dug out… hahahaha…. after tht Ipoh trip…. the caving activity, waterfall trip, visit to the cave temples, midnite show where i fall asleep watching, the steamboat… also playing Cinderella n stepsister… hahahaha… then kena tegur from ppl nxt door because we r too noisy…. hahaha… not to forget our game of UNO too…. hehehehe….

after tht is the small small trips around KL such as Butterfly park, Bird park (which includes getting attacks from the macaws…), National Monument, National Museum, Zoo, and also the every semester waterfall visit… Bagan Lalang for T3…  the rugby game tht shows every1’s aggressive side… hahaha…. the bbq… keep eating till no more can go in… the sitting at beach side with candles light… chatting about past, present n future..
then the final trip in Uni… Tioman…. the beautiful sea water, the snorkelling trip… the mahjong, UNO, Stacko game… volleyball, rugby…. taking pics all around the place… visiting the yatch harbour…(my 1st time altho cannot board also nvm la)…. the marine park…

now tht i mentioned it… seems to b a lot… but all these are beautiful memories to me…i hope many many more of this memories will happen altho frens have now go their own way, i do hope, we would gather more n more times ahead n hv more n more of this memories together…

my first mid-autumn festival celebration in 5 years…

i have juz finish playing candles in conjuction with the Mid-Autumn Festival which falls on tmr. While playing, i realised that i had missed all the celebrations that the Chinese celebrate for the past 5 years ever since dad was no longer here. i do not celebrate dumpling festival (i’m not sure what we call the celebration), Mid-Autumn, tong yuen (not sure it is called wat winter festival) and many others… while seeing other people happy celebrating, i do not have the heart to celebrate these festivals all these while…

this year would mark my first in celebrating… i bought mooncakes and even played candles…. while celebrating on my own, my emotions that i missed my dad came back…. i really really missed him…. last time while i’m playing near my house… he would be outside accompanying me while chatting with neighbours…. the feeling is so merry… without my dad now, i’m much more quiet…. DAD…. I MISS YOU…. on his bday that day, i wanted to make some red eggs for him… but eventually i stopped myself…. these feelings are very hard to describe…. again… please cherish n love those tht u care… do not take them for granted… love them n care about them as much as you can…

ppl would say besides CNY eve, Mid-Autumn festival would also a celebration gather together and have their reunion dinner… it’s not tht i dun wan to hv it… every things tht i did with my dad over the years would come back and remind me while i’m having dinner because you just seemed to see someone familiar missing even though there are new additions to the family. earlier today, i went over to my gran’s to have lunch with her with my cousin… we went out together with my aunts…. i think tht can be said as my reunion altho it’s lunch n my uncle is not there…